I went for a walk in a nearby Valley Park. This comes after some emotional and thoughtful weeks after the sudden death of a university sister. I worked with her in the Leicester University Islamic Society, which I presided over 24 years ago. She died from an illness that she hid from her closest. Her death shocked all who knew her and worked with her.
She was loyal, shy, caring and principled. After leaving University, she took on her family business and expanded it. Many remember her conduct with family, employees, suppliers, and customers. She was a role model for many, and many relied on her for her leadership and the selfless care she gave to them.
Her death invoked memories among the group of her university friends. Although it had been 24 years since I had met or spoken to her, it also made me revisit my steps back then.
As I walked through the park, I contemplated my life journey. Strangely, the changing scenery and paths around me started to talk to me in my imaginary world. I began to paint a picture in my mind of my life journey.
This path led to other paths; sometimes, I took the wrong turn, turned back, and chose another path. This reminded me that our lives take similar paths and turns.
I started my walk in the park by choosing a path with a target destination: Swan Lake. This path led to other paths; sometimes, I took the wrong turn, turned back, and chose another path. This reminded me that our lives take similar paths and turns. After University, I took a path and made decisions that dictated my next 24 years. I started to revisit and question my paths as my memories returned to those moments 24 years ago.
The weight of the “what if” moments started to play heavily on my chest as if failures of lost opportunities underpinned my worldly successes.
Allhamdulillah, I may have had a promising career and life that many may desire. I discussed this in a recent radio interview (see link below). Yet, my mind started questioning this for all the paths I could have taken, the lost opportunities, and the many achievements that could have been different and perhaps better. The weight of the “what if” moments started to play heavily on my chest as if failures of lost opportunities underpinned my worldly successes.
I felt sadness and pain as I walked and crossed different paths. This was not about personal wealth but the impact on broader society and infrastructure.
Was I lost in my life journey? I questioned myself as I continued my walk. Lost in my thoughts, the path opened to my set destination. It is a beautiful lake with stunning majestic swans gliding through the water under a clear blue sky, making everything clear to observe and enjoy.
A painful reality hit me as I sat on the bench to soak in the moment, processing my thoughts. The sister’s death reminded me of the temporary nature of this destination, this world, these life paths that we choose to walk on, these destinations that we set ourselves, and all our life struggles. It all eventually dies and moves on.
What is left after we are gone is what matters. What matters are the memories of the moments we live, the impact we have on the lives of others, and how they remember us, just like the memories of this sister.
What is left after we are gone is what matters. What matters are the memories of the moments we live, the impact we have on the lives of others, and how they remember us, just like the memories of this sister. We remember her legacy, kindness, principles, leadership, and caring nature.
This realisation influenced me and replaced my immediate memory of my path choices. I remembered the sounds of the birds chirping, the cool breeze, the happiness of people who walked past me, and the kindness of the old couple who warned me of some rough paths ahead. I concluded that it is not the choices of the life paths that we take that matter; it’s what we do with them and how we conduct ourselves as we walk them that define us.
I revisited my life journey to find these moments. I was accompanied by a loving and caring wife, the childhood of my beautiful daughter, and our travels as a family, making every moment worth living for. During my professional work, solving and resolving problems in charities and successfully dealing with crises they find themselves in is an aspect of my life that matters, not career choices.
We may think we chose the wrong path or ended up in the incorrect destination—this does not matter, as it all ultimately dies. God decides our paths to test us.
We may think we chose the wrong path or ended up in the incorrect destination—this does not matter, as it all ultimately dies. God decides our paths to test us. We should focus on what stays and lives on: the memories and impact we leave on this temporary world. We need to fill our paths with these memories, regardless of the paths that we embark on.
Content with my conclusions, I returned to my car as if I had found a treasure in my quest as I remembered this special sister.
Having lived my old memories once more, one thoughtful memory braced me. A poetic verse of a famous Sufi poet, Altaf Hussain Hali. I read and memorized in Urdu as a kid. It went on something like this:
Valuable lessons are taught to us by graves.
We find this treasure from this burial.
I had found my treasure through the sad death of this special sister of ours. May Allah swt grant her the highest paradise. Ameen.
End.
Author: Nasir Rafiq is the Managing Partner of Dua Governance Chartered Accountants & Business Advisors. He is also a community leader and Chairs many initiatives and organizations.
He spoke about his career in a radio interview with local community radio station UnityFM. Man on a Mission – a Personal Story of Faith, Change and Impact (See link).
