In the past two decades, I have been involved with many high profile mediation’s. This has become a key feature in many of my past and present engagements.
Be it, disputes between trustees, disputes between employee and trustees, issues with regulators or between family business partners. Each time, I came in when all options have been exhausted and there is a stalemate, risk of self-destruction or Charity Commission intervention.
With Allah’s blessing, I have always prevailed and have been able to resolve the matter amicably. My suggested solutions and plans achieved satisfaction by all parties and a “win win” solution for all with a clear way forward, Allhumdulillah.
Although the outcomes were satisfying, the journey to it was often bumpy with lots of grit, patience, and sacrifice involved.
My approach to mediation is not conventional. Often the traditional culture forces the disputing parties to accept each other’s demands. Emotions and Islam is used to exploit each parties guilt and force corporation on moral grounds. This seldom results in long term and lasting solutions.
My approach is far, from it.
Mediation should be about justice, fair judgement and agreeing on what is right and fair, in the context of the overall objectives of the organisation and its expected destination.
For me, mediation is about justice, fair judgement and agreeing on what is right and fair, in the context of the overall objectives of the organisation and its expected destination.
This should not be about personal wins. Mediation or compromise should be about both parties winning, not the strong overcoming the weak which is often seen in traditional mediation.
In each mediation, I employ the following same principles:
Mediation requires a SMART overall objective
I determine the overall SMART objective. Something, I can visualize and touch. Something that makes both parties stronger and win. This is the utmost important part of any mediation. Weak or no objectives, results in outcomes that are weak and at times unfair.
Empathy is the ingredient to success
I place myself in each parties’ shoes and explore the pressure points. Having empathy is the key ingredient for building trust. Empathy should be the starting point for any mediation.
One must see wood from the trees
Once the pressure points are identified, I iron them out against the overall objective. It is at this stage; I separate out the noise and the wood from the trees.
Baggage needs offloading
People carry baggage that they need help with offloading
People carry baggage that they need help with offloading. Sacrifices and compromises must always be for a bigger objective and cause.
I make an effort to identify and offload this baggage which is often built up over a longer period based on personal experiences and perceptions. Often brushed under the carpet and ignored – never dealt with and it becomes the monster that stops common sense to prevail.
Once I am left with the genuine concerns and risks, I build bespoke solutions, based on my professional judgments and experiences – Again, against the overall objectives of the mediation.
Closure needs work
The mediation is then “closed” by all parties agreeing to “my solution”. By this time, I have earned the trust, strong emotions are ironed out and the focus for both parties is on the “win win” solution. The details are agreed and then signed off.
All the above is accompanied and peppered with hard work, difficult discussions, listening, patience, moments of quiet meditations and a hard resolve from me with no compromise.
Mediation is most relevant at the top
People in positions of responsibility often end up carrying lot of baggage – this builds up over time, much depends on them being able to work effectively with each other. This is not always possible, and this inability of being able to work together often risks bringing the whole building down with years of “building” and “achievements” to a dramatic loss.
This is where mediation then becomes that tool that can put the train back on its track.
Mediation is not about making people love and hug each other – its about achieving objectives and making sure the train gets to its destination.
Mediation is not about making people love and hug each other – its about achieving objectives and making sure the train gets to its destination.
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Author: Nasir Rafiq is a widely experienced Fellow Chartered Accountant (ICAEW) and a Charity Financial Governance Expert.
He is the Managing Partner of Dua Governance, a Charity Governance specialist accountancy firm.
Nasir has held many senior finance positions within the UK charity sector and continues to advise many charities on governance and leadership matters.
Email: info@duagovernance.com
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